October 2024 (Melbourne)


^24 year old me with my Dad. I married Andrew in the Kildara Chapel, Malvern, Kildara was my secondary school. Sadly, the Chapel, Convent and school were all demolished a few years later.


Well…this month has also been dominated by my Dad’s recent death. I typed “death,” thought it sounded too harsh, erased it, typed “passing” and then thought…Dad didn’t pass (by)…that sounds transient, like he passed by on the way somewhere. Maybe that’s what has happened..I don’t know. 

I erased “passing” and typed “death” again. 

More concrete; absolute. Final.

As is my stage of life, the sadness of Dad’s death has been coupled with the excitement of my eldest child who has relocated to Oxford to study an MBA at Oxford University (very proud parents!) and the happiness of his fiancée who has joined him for the year. We will see them both next month.

Also occurring was the happy event of our youngest’s 21st (and her long-time boyfriend’s as well). G’s 21st was sandwiched in amongst funerals but we managed to make her birthday the joyous occasion it should be. We went out as a family on her actual birthday and then had a weekend of celebrations with wider family and her friends. It was lovely to be happy and not sad. Happiest of birthdays G – grab every opportunity and let your light shine!

G’s long-term (over 5 years!) boyfriend, E, also turned 21 and we shared in a happy celebration for him too. Let your light shine too E – you have a bright future!

Back to Dad. I learnt that, even after having worked as a Wills and Estates lawyer for decades, I can still be surprised. My Dad left a long-term domestic partner but he did not name her as his Executor. So, when she fixed the day for his funeral and my siblings disagreed with the date, a tussle was on. The Estate lawyer said it was up to the Executors to organise the funeral so, with that, Dad’s long-term partner was out in the cold. Life lesson – if you want someone other than your Executor to organise your funeral, stipulate that and make sure that the family is aware of your wishes.

The date of the funeral was duly changed but, in most other respects, nothing changed so “The Tussle” didn’t end up being that big a deal. Just unnecessary stress.

Dad’s long-term partner decided to have her own farewell for Dad with her family and friends. We did the same with our kids but then we also (without our kids) attended Dad’s official funeral.

I have no doubt that there will be a lot more water to flow under the bridge so I’ll be sparse with my words now. What I will say is that the private farewell we gave Dad was beautiful – the songs he wanted, a Eulogy from me, poems from his grandchildren with M FaceTiming in from Oxford. All in the same room with Dad, no celebrant but a ceremony of our own making with just our family. Heartfelt and genuine.

The actual funeral was lovely too but, for me, the private gathering was more meaningful.

Now that the funeral is over, I will have some time to sit with my thoughts and process everything that has happened in the last six weeks or so and how my life has shifted.

People say that losing a parent is tough; that it shakes your foundations; makes you face your own mortality…I don’t know yet but I do know that it has solidified in me a desire to make the most of my family and the rest of my life.

To the “my life” aspect, I signed a hybrid publishing contract to have a book published!! Back in January 2023, our then 1 year old Golden Retriever, Harry, bolted from a café in Rye and was missing for 3 days. Happily, he was found and we’ll never know whether he survived in the wild for those 3 days or was taken in by someone for some of that time.

When we lost Harry, I had recently finished working for the legal firm we had owned and I had decided to give writing “a go.” When Harry was lost and then found, Andrew said to me, “There’s your book!”

I did write the story of Harry being lost and found with particular attention to how the story went viral on social media but, once I wrote 13,000 words or so, I found that I didn’t really have much else to say. I tried a 3,000 word version too and entered some competitions with the shorter story but with no success.

After some pondering, I decided that a shorter, kids’ book and/or a picture book would be more appealing so I set to and wrote a 7,000 word version (without the social media angle). That is the story I will have published. I am very excited at the thought of a book authored by me available in a library or a bookshop. “When Harry Got Lost” coming sometime in the next year!

I have done a few writing courses online with the Australian Writer’s Centre. I think that I have learnt a lot. I guess I will find out if kids like my story. As I told my kids, at worst, I have ready-made presents for them (!!) and a story to read to my future grandchildren.

I will polish some picture book drafts in the next few weeks and try my luck with them too.

I do love that I have the time to experiment with all sorts of writing during my new “Chapter” of my life.
Nearly all the writing that I have had published (certainly nearly all the paid work!) has been travel writing. Travel writing is also paying off in terms of press trips (also called famils). I had the cruises in August to Croatia and to Papua New Guinea. Next month, there is a cruise in Norway (!!). At the end of January, a Press Trip to Cocos Keeling Islands and a couple more cruises next year too. Who would have thought????? Not me!

Mamamia published a deeply personal reflection that I wrote a few days after Dad died - https://www.mamamia.com.au/dads-cancer-diagnosis/ I have kept a diary of a lot of what has happened. I’ll take some time and space and see if I do anything with it or not.

My elder daughter, L, and I attended Zoë Foster-Blake’s Melbourne book launch this month. I devoured her book, “Things Will Calm Down Soon” and loved the similarities I found between her journey and ours in selling a business. I hasten to add the numbers involved were not similar. AT. ALL. But a lot of the process was similar – the grinding, the setbacks, the “Fake it til you make it,” the ever-cheery self-promotion, the one foot after the other, the rollercoaster sale process…

Something that I didn’t identify with were the many, many WhatsApp school messages. OMG – I am glad that my kids were at school a while ago now. I don’t think I could have coped with 4 different childrens’ WhatsApp groups and the messages pinging endlessly!!

At the end of the month, I am off to my first Convention…ever…as a delegate! The Australian Society of Travel Writers is holding a Convention in the Hunter Valley. I have a pre-Convention famil (destination so far unknown!) for a couple of nights and then the Convention for a couple of nights. I am nervous and excited at the same time! (As I post this, I am two days into this trip - more about this next month!)

Less than a week after I get home from the Convention, Andrew and I fly to London then drive to Oxford to see M & A. After a few days in Oxford, we fly to Bergen for our cruise. We get home two weeks exactly before M & A's wedding so the next few weeks will FLY…

Writing Wins – I’ve had a few:) Having said that, I have hardly done any travel writing the past few weeks so I need to get cracking. I can feel my normal self returning so, little by little, I will get back into it. 

Published this month has been the story about Dad that I already mentioned plus a flash fiction story entitled “Dreams” https://www.cafelitmagazine.uk/2024/10/dreams-by-leonie-jarrett-long-black.html

The other published work has all been travel writing. Citro published their Guide to Cruising for over 50s and the story by Andrew and I on the PNG cruise was the lead story!! There are also a couple of other cruising stories by me in that Guide - https://www.joincitro.com.au/resources/citro-guide-cruising-for-over-50s Andrew also had a story of his own about cruising published by Citro this month – “If you can’t beat them, join them,” he says!

Other travel stories are:
• Chaos, colour and cows – what it’s really like to travel to India for the first time - https://www.joincitro.com.au/news/india-for-first-time-visitors (dated online as 23 April but I only noticed it this month).
• Malta – A Jewel of the Mediterranean With a Distinctly English Flavour - https://www.goworldtravel.com/beauty-of-malta/
• Two Weeks in Puglia, Italy: Exploring, Eating and Relaxing - https://www.goworldtravel.com/two-weeks-in-puglia-italy/



^A sneak peek from the Hunter Valley. Featuring a glass of Semillon which, as I have come to learn, is the premium wine of this region.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

April 2024 - Melbourne and Palm Cove

Image
^What 56 looks like 😊 April started with Easter. Well, it didn’t really as Easter Sunday was 31 March but I’ll claim it for April. We had the extended family to Rye for lunch and the weather turned it on! The kids all stayed with us for the entire break which was lovely. Just after Easter, Andrew set off for Palm Cove. By car! He wanted to tow his boat and keep it at the local marina for a while. His Mum kept him company for the first couple of days. They parted company on the Sunshine Coast where one of her daughter’s (one of Andrew’s sisters) and her family are having a sea change for a year. He drove the last couple of days on his own and then had a few days fishing in beautiful weather and calm seas. Fillets of delicious coral trout were brought home and eaten at our next family “shindig” which was my birthday in mid April.  Andrew was away for about 10 days and I enjoyed the time to myself in Rye and then back in Melbourne. Easter signalled the last of the beautiful Autumn we...
Read more

March 2024 - Home in Rye and Melbourne

Image
The first couple of days of March were spent in India – in Jaisalmer and in Delhi. We left the tour in Jodhpur and hired a driver to take us to Jaisalmer which is in the desert. It was a five or six hour drive from Jodhpur and I had a doze (I sleep very easily in the car!). I woke with a start to Andrew yelling, “That’s enough. Pull over!” Andrew had been watching our driver‘s head nod. When the driver also took his foot off the accelerator and started to move across the road, Andrew yelled out to wake up the driver. No harm was done but I didn’t fall asleep again after that!! Jaisalmer’s claim to fame is a magnificent fort where people still live and work today. We told our driver to rest and we hired a TukTuk to take us there. It was probably the hottest day we had - about 30 degrees – but the narrow streets atop the Fort were shaded and we had a lovely meander. I even managed to buy a few gifts (colourful scarves) and a couple of dresses. We flew from Jaisalmer to Delhi. In my head,...
Read more

October 2023 (Collingwood wins the AFL Grand Final !!! and Palm Cove)

Image
30 September 2023…a day that will live in Infamy ha ha!! Not only was it our anniversary of finishing employment but it was the day that our beloved Collingwood won the AFL Grand Final. Collingwoooooooood (as the crowd chant goes!) WHAT. A.DAY!!  I have been lucky enough to attend three Grand Finals in my life – 1990, 2018 and 2023. I was 22 back in 1990 and only obtained a ticket because Andrew’s Mum had a work connection to Collingwood. Andrew had been to a few Grand Finals before 1990 and Collingwood had lost each of them so, when they won in 1990, he told me (repeatedly) how lucky I was! It was a fabulous experience. Little did I know that I would wait 33 years for a repeat! Collingwood was in a few Grand Finals between 1991 and 2009 but lost all of them. We had no money and/or small children so we watched them all on TV. In 2010, we were in Bali on a family holiday as we watched the Granny on the TV and were stunned when it ended in a draw. We arrived back in Melbourne before ...
Read more